We come to praise Cesar, is that him over there?

So the charming Mexican gentleman is coming! At last the saviour is here! Just spend sixty odd quid (or about a hundred for the "special show") and all your dog woes will be solved overnight. "It must work 'cos he's Cesar Millan, he's on the telly!"

The one thing that isn't spent on dogs these days would seem to be time. You don't build a mutually respectful relationship by going to the O2 to see some bloke in the distance sounding like an aerosol.

It takes time and application. It takes a leadership that your dog respects and understands is for the sole purpose of his continued survival. In short, don't whisper, they're too stressed to hear, just listen and respond in a way that they understand and respect. Jan Fennell's "techniques" aren't hers, they're the dogs own - they have a language that's served them well for thousands of years. Jan just listened to that and cleverly devised ways we could respond that the dogs would understand and would reassure them. Take a little time, five quid or so for "The Dog Listener" - or get it from the library and let the O2 stick to good old showbiz.

Gloom at either end of the lead

It never fails to surprise me that people take their dogs out in all weathers and at all times of the day and night. There are many theories about why we lead walk dogs. The one that seems to be logical is that before the war dogs were allowed to roam pretty much unchecked. They didn't normally go too far, possibly because the humans gave them the appropriate signals confirming that they were pack members so they wouldn't stray away from their security. Unfortunately, during and after the war there was the hazard of unexploded ordnance. Dogs are inquisitive, a bomb site would no doubt be a cloud of interesting smells warranting investigation, they would step on something and WOOF! So they had to be kept in check with a bit of string.

The trouble is that these days a dog is taken out whether it wants to go or not. A calm, chilled out dog will sleep most of the day, most don't need strenuous exercise and most only need to empty a couple of times in 24 hours. So it's barmy that, when it's really rubbish weather, when at either end of the lead there's an animal that would rather be comfortable indoors, in the gloom of winter shadowy figures plod around the streets.

I'd rather stay in and play.

Sit - a!

She hasn't been with us for nigh on 25 years, yet the image of dog training is still tweed skirts and jerks on the lead. Barbara Woodhouse raised the profile, but at what a cost - hers is the first name lazily wheeled out whenever the subject of canine bahaviour is discussed. Even the fragrant Victoria hasn't been able to change that.


But Ms W's legacy goes further, whilst she wasn't or isn't the only one. Why is it that we're so obsessed with making our dogs sit? Earlier this week I witnessed a really handsome looking Collie with a young lad who, upon getting to the edge of the road jerked back on the lead, and the hound duly sat down, looking really fed up. 


My partner teaches that the lead is merely an accessory, that the dog follows of it's own accord and that it's never subjected to jerks - moreover it's her clients' prerogative, but she doesn't necessarily get them to make the dog sit every time they stop. 


I went into a petrol station at the weekend where a young girl had a Staffy outside on a lead while her boyfriend went into the shop. She was gently, but firmly pressing on his hind quarters and he in turn wasn't too keen to place them on the ground. I probably looked a little longer than I should, but when I came out of the shop they were both happily standing still outside and she smiled at me as I went past. I'd like to think she received my message, most probably she was spooked by this old bloke staring at her.


I hope the your dog doesn't have to sit on the frosty pavement when winter finally arrives or I shall have to go round giving cold, stern stares to everyone.

Get these vicious animals off our streets!

Not my words, but the gist of a new RSPCA campaign to get at the real danger behind "dangerous dogs" - their "owners". The more we take the emphasis off the dog itself, then the more we are likelyto tackle the root cause of the problem. The idea of putting the dog down is not only unfair on the dog, it means that those in authorities think that the problem has been dealt with, or worryingly, they can tell us that, when quite obviously it hasn't.


The promotion of responsible dog ownership and accountability for a dog's behaviour is long overdue, we all make mistakes, but the prevailing view is that it's the dog's fault. Dogs are reactive, we are proactive - it's our fault, no excuses.

The President's Dog

It's an old news story, but one that came to mind when my Good Lady told me of one of her consultations a little while ago.


"Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own 'clinically depressed' pet dog."


Apparently the dog became depressed at having to leave his "Presidential" lifestyle.


MGL had been to see a lady who was just about to have to leave her home of some 20 years and who was worried that her dog, a recent addition, would become depressed at having to leave familiar surroundings. Happily she was reassured that, when seen by her dog as a wise and competent leader, the hound would be happy to go wherever she went. 


The President and Mme Chirac need to spend more time on learning how the dog that they have decided to bring into their home thinks, and less of their pension money on barmy quick fixes. It didn't work anyway and the dog's no longer with them.

If it don't work...............

A great weekend at Paws in the Park helping my Good Lady and her Dog Listener colleagues. Apart from having to chase the marquee after a robust gust of wind (next year we'll lash it to jerry cans full of water as advised by my ex-navy friend) I was struck by the number of dogs wearing gadgets and gizmos dragging their owners around the event. Patently these gadgets don't work.

Why carry on doing something, even when it doesn't work? but then I suppose it's not well known or accepted that there is an alternative. I hope we were able to connect with a few people to show that there is.

We've heard of a lady who used to have a GSD who would sleep with her every night. After a time this dog would wake her up in the middle of the night by jumping on top of her. So she would get up and let the dog out, thinking that she needed the toilet. However, the dog never went to the toilet, so they'd go back to bed and the same thing would happen again. The lady was completely puzzled as to why and put it down to one of the dogs traits.

A few months later, she went to the doctors for a check-up and then was sent to the hospital for tests, it turns out that this lady had an irregular heartbeat, so much so that it was actually stopping while she slept!!! The clever dog, knew this so literally would jump on top of her and kept her alive!

My client had a pacemaker fitted and her dog never jumped on her again in the middle of the night.

She says that this dog saved her life, because if she hadn't have been almost performing CPR, she wouldn't be alive today.

How can anyone ever say dogs are stupid?!