We come to praise Cesar, is that him over there?

So the charming Mexican gentleman is coming! At last the saviour is here! Just spend sixty odd quid (or about a hundred for the "special show") and all your dog woes will be solved overnight. "It must work 'cos he's Cesar Millan, he's on the telly!"

The one thing that isn't spent on dogs these days would seem to be time. You don't build a mutually respectful relationship by going to the O2 to see some bloke in the distance sounding like an aerosol.

It takes time and application. It takes a leadership that your dog respects and understands is for the sole purpose of his continued survival. In short, don't whisper, they're too stressed to hear, just listen and respond in a way that they understand and respect. Jan Fennell's "techniques" aren't hers, they're the dogs own - they have a language that's served them well for thousands of years. Jan just listened to that and cleverly devised ways we could respond that the dogs would understand and would reassure them. Take a little time, five quid or so for "The Dog Listener" - or get it from the library and let the O2 stick to good old showbiz.